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EARLY LIFE: RAINBOW valley, fun for the family

I was born and raised in the cozy small town of Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island. My mum (from the UK) and dad (from the Island) were highschool sweethearts  that gave my brother and I a wholesome childhood- I have always felt really lucky to grow up in such an encouraging and supportive environment. They put me in piano lessons, musical theatre, bought me my first sewing machine, took us on family trips and were just generally great parents. However, genetics may have not exactly been on our side in the mental health department- I guess we’re just so gifted with stunning looks that god had to hinder us in some capacity (that's my brother and I on the right. Absolute icons of 2005.)

Looking back, there were definitely clues in my earlier years, but it was around age 12 that I started to really struggle with my mental health. My mother discovered a journal of mine that had what was basically a suicide note written in it and that was what kicked off my long journey with mental illness and psych visits. At age 12-13 I experienced an abusive relationship that I would discover in my twenties (hi) did actually leave me with lasting clinical trauma, but we’ll get to that fun mess later down the timeline!! :)

I also came out to my mom as bi/lesbian questioning (who knows anything ever !!!) at 13. She was sweet, and accepting, and treated all my romantic partners over the years the same.

MIDDLE SCHOOL: THE EMO YEARS

     After begging my mom for around a year over the course of Grade 7, she allowed

me to dye my hair a RADICAL COLOUR. I flexed my Hot Topic-finglerless-gloved,

scrawny little fingers and ordered two bottles of Special Effects Cherry Bomb dye

in the mail (our small town back in 2011 definitely did not have any rainbow hair

dye for sale, anywhere) and my hair has literally never been it’s natural hair colour

since. 

     I won’t sugar coat it, middle school was pretty much hell. Honestly hell sounds

pretty warm and cozy compared to the musty ass bathroom floor tiles in the 7th

grade girl’s room that I would hide in to avoid social interaction- particularly with

food. I fought a pretty gnarly battle with anorexia and bulimia and honestly still

put on medication! HALLELUJAH <3 They put me   combo of seroquil and celexa, which have worked CRAZY AMAZING I am even still on today! (Just higher doses lol).

My fashion sense at this point was definitely shifting from purely I-want-to-bone-Gerard-Way to some vague semblance of Harajuku street style. I was already fully into my magical girl anime obsession (starting with Heartcatch Precure in eighth grade o w o) and fell deep into Tumblr holes of pretty Harajuku girls and Lolita dresses. I started posting on Tumblr and a site called Lookbook.nu, and actually accumulated a small following for my fashion content!! 

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL: PIXIE’S FABULOUS

ADVENTURE

....High school. 

Boyfriends! Girlfriends! Sweet teenage romances! 

I had a very interesting high school experience. In tenth and twelfth grade I spent the better part of the year acting in the bi-annual musicals (Grease and Mary Poppins baybee), and in the eleventh grade I devoted myself to everyone’s favourite anime trope- the Student Council. These extra curriculars really helped me stay happy and feel creatively fulfilled. I actually had a pretty great high school experience and gradually started eating normally and gained weight and to this day am totally cozy and happy with my body- like 90% of the time :) 

I met some people during this time that left lasting impacts on me- but mostly I feel nothing but love for the friendships and relationships I had during this time. I learned an immense amount about myself and

HELLO CONFETTI CLUB, IT IS PIXIE

My Youtube career snowballed at a rate I am very very lucky for, and I pretty much immediately began posting content regularly on Youtube. I got my start making videos about Lolita fashion, but as the years went by my style changed and I floated around different communities- at one point even creating my own “sub-style” I called Party Kei. I became a very public person, with what felt like tens of thousands of people staring at me through a magnifying glass. The cheese-grater-like rigour of internet hate and total slanderous lies that come with being a Youtuber definitely shaped me as a person throughout these years- I was 16 when I started. 

After graduating high school I took two years off to sort out my mental health to some degree before moving away for college (side note for any anxious highschool pals- this is one of the best decisions I have ever made). I currently am attending fashion design school and living with my boyfriend

healed in a lot of ways- I was self harm free for a good few years and recovered from my disordered eating.

It was also this time in my life that I  began getting more interaction on social media and was getting requests (on good old Tumblr Dot Com) to make videos content in addition to just the photos and stuff that I was doing. It actually wasn’t until I got an email from a kawaii subscription box type company asking to do a tradesies review, and that was the first video I ever posted online as Pixielocks. 

Stephen who has joined me as my first business partner- I am grateful every single day that we can support the (rainbow) roof over our heads with this absolute dream job. 

Today, I am shifting my channel and brand focus to more sustainable and ethical ways of living a colourful, alternative lifestyle. As I work in both the fashion and social media spheres, I look forward to learning and sharing more about ethical fashion in all that I do.

have a lot of issues surrounding food- but

in middle school I was starving myself

and purging so much I was underweight

and really not okay. I could NOT eat food

in the cafeteria, I could barely stand to be

in the cafeteria or anywhere around  food in public. My mom helped me to stay fed and nourished by picking me up almost every day at lunch and bringing me home to eat- I love you mom. 

In my final year of middle school (which is Grade 9 in my school system), I had my first suicide scare. I was driven to the hospital, admitted to the psych ward, and had the privilege of receiving a full psych evaluation. After a few hours of bizarre tests and questions, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and told I had several traits of Borderline Personality Disorder, but not enough to diagnose (plus I was only 15). This was also the point in my life I was finally

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